The stereotypical New Zealand hamburger has way too much stuff on it… imagine an American burger with the usual trimmings and add a fried egg, a beet slice, and an odd chutney or two.

But it’s also a land of very very simple sandwiches… as in this example from the take-away cabinet at a cafe we stopped in on the way down to Palmerston North last weekend.

For a long time, Lee has had this question: what is it about truffles? We’ve had truffle-infused and truffle-sprinkled things from time to time, but it’s not like you can just sit down and eat a truffle to really understand the flavor of the thing. And to the extent you do taste the truffle in your food, does it actually just taste like dirt?

And besides, when you get truffles in a restaurant or a packaged product, what are you actually getting?

For answers to these questions, we booked into the truffle hunt and truffle lunch experience by Te Puke Truffles and Kitchen Takeover.

At the truffle farm, about a half hour from Tauranga in the smack dab center of kiwifruit orchard country, we met Maureen and Colin, above, along with Jed the alpha truffle dog, below.

We’ve been on guided foraging walks before, and that’s kind of what we were expecting here… but it wasn’t like that. Instead, the dozen of us guests sat on their back patio for about an hour and a half presentation about the farm, about truffles, dogs, and so on. We got coffee, and a little sample of truffle scrambled eggs, truffle ice cream, truffle butter (smoked and not), truffle honey and truffle salt. It was informative and quietly entertaining… they’ve done this talk a few hundred times and it flowed well.

After that, we got a demo of the younger dog, Sam, practicing his training. Under some of the flower pots is an old film canister with truffle in it, and they lead him around sniffing each one. If he smells truffles, he sits and gets a treat. Going in, I was really expecting something closer to slathering dogs setting out after wild boars, Game of Thrones style, but instead it was this sweet poodle mix clumping about on his leash and sitting down from time to time.

And then on to the main event. We walked through a couple of paddocks, past the sheep, ducks, and beehives. The truffière is about an acre, with 200 oak and hazelnut trees planted in a grid. We had to stay behind the fence lest we contaminate the holy ground.

The trees were inoculated with the magic truffle spore before planting (17 years ago) and the soil heavily amended with lime etc to replicate the conditions most favorable to truffle production. DNA analysis is undertaken regularly. Books have been read, and many farmers and ag experts consulted. But still there’s as much art as science in this… there’s a lot unknown about how to make the magic fruit appear. It took 7-8 years for the first truffles to appear, and each season is quite different.

Jed the dog meandered along for a few minutes and sat down. Could it be, after all the expectation-lowering warnings we’d had due to the ridiculously rainy spring and summer???

Yes! As you know from the picture at the top, they found a smallish truffle and then another. At between $1 and $3 per gram wholesale, even that little harvest represents a good day. But Maureen and Colin made it clear throughout the morning that this is a hobby that helps pay for itself more than a way to make a living.

We dutifully bought three little jars of honey, salt, and butter on the way out. All in all, it was a lovely morning, if a bit less athletic and grubby than I expected. We thought back to our own country living adventures in Fulton, MO, 30 years ago (!!), where we imagined a lamb and raspberry ranch. If we’d stuck with it, maybe we’d have something on the same scale and as pleasant as Te Puke Truffles. But man oh man, what a lot of work they’ve put in. I admire Maureen and Colin’s efforts but am satisfied that farm life wasn’t the path for me.

Next stop, back to Tauranga for the truffle lunch.

The lunch was at Sugo, which was just a block or two away from our hotel in a little dining precinct. We’ve seen the same thing everywhere in NZ… there’s a pedestrianized block or two full of restaurants. It always feels a bit too planned by a civic improvement committee, but I bet the formula works. Every visitor can go there and find dinner.

Anyway… the food was great, very truffley.

Considering it was the end of a holiday weekend, we felt pretty good about only spending about 20-30 minutes in heavy traffic on the way home.

Overall it was a great weekend!!