Last seen in Vietnam, our heroes suddenly stopped posting updates… whatever could have happened??
Nothing, actually… we finished our trip, came home and got sucked back into normal life.
We now resume our story already in progress…
Our boat, the Silversea Cruise
There’s the boat we stayed on for two nights in Ha Long Bay, the Silversea Cruise. We were ‘upgraded’ to this boat after choosing another one. All the details of what amenities you get for what price are highly specified , but somewhat opaque to the average punter like me.
The basic deal is you can do one night or two. I opted for two, but in reality one would have been enough. Same basic itinerary each day. The boat holds 40 guests, but we had about 25 on board.
Inside was fine… about like you might expect: cabin small, food beautiful to look at and pretty good to eat, staff a bit smarmy. We saw a few roaches in the bath, probably unavoidable in that climate, but unwelcome.
Prov and I got to take a turn driving, that was fun.
There are no pictures for proof, but I did catch a squid 🦑 (I’m adding the emoji because it was auto-suggested, which is its own kind of awesome) during the evening fishing activities. It was only a couple inches long.
Ha Long Bay Cruise
If you’re in that part of Vietnam, you gotta see Ha Long Bay. It’s recognized as a unique natural attraction by UNESCO. What makes it so special is the population of tourist boats that cruise around. There are thousands of them, or hundreds anyways!
But like all Earth’s special places, Ha Long Bay is under threat. You see, it can actually be difficult to observe the boats due to the nearly 2,000 steep rocky islands that also occupy this sacred place.
The Vietnamese government is doing what it can to allow the boats and the pesky islands to coexist. They’ve even turned a few of them into tourist attractions… you can go ashore and explore caves,
climb up steps to get a better view of the endangered boats,
learn about pearls,
and even buy souvenirs from a floating market!
I’ll make another post focused on our particular boat, but for now just keep all the endangered boats in your thoughts and hope someone figures out how to control all those islands!
Communist Propaganda
- Things seemed grubby and chaotic, and I didn’t understand how things could work, but they basically did.
- People really want our money, which makes sense because they obviously need more than they have. Still, nobody stole anything or menaced us.
Hai Van Pass
After Marble Mountain we continued north passing through Da Nang, and then climbing the famous Hai Van pass. The name means something about clouds and the sea, and sho nuff it was completely pea soup up there. Some haunting old military buildings speak to the pass’s past. We made a quick pass through a souvenir gift stalls and visited the squat toilets, and then back in the van.
On the way down we got behind a truck full of jet fuel, which slowed us down even more. There was no passing lane in the pass.
The Hai Van pass is just absolutely on the tourist agenda, not to be passed up. But on a cloudy day like we had, I could have taken a pass on the pass. I was worried we’d have to do it all over on the way home, but my fears didn’t come to pass: we took the new tunnel instead.
Tube Houses
For reasons to do with French taxation practices, scarce land, and national preference, it’s quite common in Vietnam to build a really tall narrow house.
The Road to Da Nang
Some shots from the early morning trip to Da Nang airport. The rice paddies and vegetable farms are all super-neat and quite lovely. The Buddha looks on…
There is a LOT of unfinished building all up and down this central Vietnam coast. Some of the sites appear active, but most look like they’re just sitting there.
It’s all about the Ho Chi Minhs
I bought this wallet in a New Plymouth thrift store over Christmas… what a great find to help anticipate the upcoming trip!
I’ve had more compliments on it than maybe anything I’ve ever owned… and that was in NZ. In Vietnam this wallet was a veritable rock star. Shopkeepers and waitresses would call their coworkers to take a look. Ha ha ha is very funny !!! Where you buy??? (Sorry for the possibly offensive use of dialect. But in this case I intend to illustrate that while it would not be possible for us to have a meaningful conversation using language, this silly secondhand plastic wallet really did bring us together.)
Into every life a little rain must fall*
Suddenly, it started to rain! Hard!
Even the rickshaw guys took refuge.
Within minutes, the poncho vendors appeared. And it works, the micro-economy works efficiently. Yay!
But we are seasoned travelers because we had already bought ponchos in a Bali downpour– and left them behind. So we knew how to ride out the storm…
* the post title is actually a quote from Longfellow, but to me it’s the slogan of a mortuary in LA that advertised on bus benches when I was in high school.
Marble Mountain
Halfway between Da Nang and Hoi An you pass through a stretch of road lined with shops selling carved marble stuff from little trinkets like we bought to giant Buddhas suitable for a town square.
Turns out there’s a quarry nearby. And you can tour it.
After riding up in the fun external elevator, you wander around a bunch twisty little (trails and) passageways, all alike. There are pagodas and carvings and views…
The view from Seawatch Point is a-changing.
Some of the carvings depict important cultural icons. Can you make out the symbology of this bench?
The boys climbed up into a cave and couldn’t find the girls on the other side, so the visit got truncated a bit. But we still had time to exit through the gift shop.
Foot fetish
It started out innocently enough with some cool manhole covers. Now it’s become a ReavesCarter-Providence vacation tradition.
Hoi An market shots
Hoi An streets are lined with vendors. Most obvious are the hundreds of souvenir shops where scary ladies cackle You Buy! Cheap Price!
But there’s also everything you need to eat, set up house, cure what ails you, and probably get a new identity if you know where to look.
Here’s a whole liquor store in a little cart.
This is to suggest that the handicrafts are actually made here, but I don’t think that’s actually true. 
Prov is our best market shopper. He’s not afraid of the scary ladies like I am.
Foolish Tourist
A tattoo shop in Hoi An
It turns out there’s a fair number of people who will basically put gibberish writing into your flesh while you thought you were getting something else. Maybe the name of a loved one, or ‘mom’ or some such. There just aren’t Chinese characters that equate to to C-A-L-E-B or whatever your preferred word might be.
And there’s plenty of people who are taken in, sadly. We don’t always get tattoos at our most clear-thinking moments.
But luckily there’s no shortage of people on the Internet who will translate your foreign language tattoo… sorry mate, you’ve been had. If your tattoo has any meaning at all it’s S-U-C-K-E-R.
But all that got me thinking a few years ago when the time came to get a little middle-aged ink. What if I pre-empted the scammers? What if I punked a billion Chinese people by getting “foolish tourist” carved into my arm?
It has worked out well. Every so often in a shop or restaurant, or on the bus, I get this slight widening of the eyes, an uncomfortable fidgety glance. A few people have asked if I actually know what it means. Oh so gently. Some of my Chinese speaking employees don’t know what to make of it… the idea of a boss making fun of himself seems not to compute.
And more than that, remembering that I am, that we all are, nothing more than foolish tourists in this life provides an important perspective… should one ever be needed.
Hoi An by boat
Hoi An is built in a maze of rivers and estuaries, with the actual ocean beach just down the road. We took the evening 30 minutes cruise, which involves walking down a shockingly rickety gangplank and riding around with about 300 other boats poled/paddled by people who do not have their captains licenses. The four of us felt a little awkward as the 90-lb grandmother heaved on her oar. Even so, very relaxing and pretty.
Toward the end of the ride, you float these little lanterns away for good luck.
A couple of days later, our hotel desk lady suggested we skip the usual taxi and take a boat ride into town.
Another rickety boarding experience, but a really pleasant ride into town.
Look at me!
Here’s some random tourists standing in front of the Japanese Bridge, one of Hoi An’s proudest sights. Built in 1593.
How is it that a picture of yourself / your tribe standing in front of a thing is so much better than just a picture of a thing, or of somebody else in front of the same thing, or even just a picture of yourself?
I guess if we didn’t prefer our own faces, we could just hire one very very beautiful group to go have their pictures taken all over and call it a day. Then, after vacation we could just dial up the location and make up an album… the caption would be “I was there and it made me feel as good as those people look!”
Brattleboro Adventure – the Auckland Edition 