Category: Vietnam

Hoi An market shots

Hoi An streets are lined with vendors. Most obvious are the hundreds of souvenir shops where scary ladies cackle You Buy! Cheap Price!

But there’s also everything you need to eat, set up house, cure what ails you, and probably get a new identity if you know where to look.

Here’s a whole liquor store in a little cart.

This is to suggest that the handicrafts are actually made here, but I don’t think that’s actually true. Prov is our best market shopper. He’s not afraid of the scary ladies like I am.

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Foolish Tourist

A tattoo shop in Hoi An

It turns out there’s a fair number of people who will basically put gibberish writing into your flesh while you thought you were getting something else. Maybe the name of a loved one, or ‘mom’ or some such. There just aren’t Chinese characters that equate to to C-A-L-E-B or whatever your preferred word might be.

And there’s plenty of people who are taken in, sadly. We don’t always get tattoos at our most clear-thinking moments.

But luckily there’s no shortage of people on the Internet who will translate your foreign language tattoo… sorry mate, you’ve been had. If your tattoo has any meaning at all it’s S-U-C-K-E-R.

But all that got me thinking a few years ago when the time came to get a little middle-aged ink. What if I pre-empted the scammers? What if I punked a billion Chinese people by getting “foolish tourist” carved into my arm?

It has worked out well. Every so often in a shop or restaurant, or on the bus, I get this slight widening of the eyes, an uncomfortable fidgety glance. A few people have asked if I actually know what it means. Oh so gently. Some of my Chinese speaking employees don’t know what to make of it… the idea of a boss making fun of himself seems not to compute.

And more than that, remembering that I am, that we all are, nothing more than foolish tourists in this life provides an important perspective… should one ever be needed.

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Hoi An by boat

Hoi An is built in a maze of rivers and estuaries, with the actual ocean beach just down the road. We took the evening 30 minutes cruise, which involves walking down a shockingly rickety gangplank and riding around with about 300 other boats poled/paddled by people who do not have their captains licenses. The four of us felt a little awkward as the 90-lb grandmother heaved on her oar. Even so, very relaxing and pretty.

Toward the end of the ride, you float these little lanterns away for good luck.

A couple of days later, our hotel desk lady suggested we skip the usual taxi and take a boat ride into town.

Another rickety boarding experience, but a really pleasant ride into town.

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Look at me!

Here’s some random tourists standing in front of the Japanese Bridge, one of Hoi An’s proudest sights. Built in 1593.

How is it that a picture of yourself / your tribe standing in front of a thing is so much better than just a picture of a thing, or of somebody else in front of the same thing, or even just a picture of yourself?

I guess if we didn’t prefer our own faces, we could just hire one very very beautiful group to go have their pictures taken all over and call it a day. Then, after vacation we could just dial up the location and make up an album… the caption would be “I was there and it made me feel as good as those people look!”

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Palm View Villas

In the world of AirBnb and Booking.com and everything else, it’s easy to find a place to stay, but much harder to judge the quality of where you’re going to end up.

Our place in Hoi An was nice, except that the “2 baths” advertised meant “2 places to bathe” rather than “2 toilets.” Less than ideal for two couples, but we managed.

The breakfast was better than expected, a mix of local and Western choices.

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Down by the riverside

Hoi An is built on a bunch of rivers and estuaries. A lot of the nicer stuff is along one waterway or another. Early in the day it’s pretty peaceful.

By afternoon it’s cafe society time.

And at night it’s shoulder to shoulder.

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Good consumers

Besides the olde towne attractions, Hoi An is about buying stuff. So we did.

That attractive jacket, cotton and linen with a mandarin collar I’m going to regret, was $65, ready in the three days instead of two because they had to fix that vent that poked out funny.

Lee got a new pair of glasses for about half what she would have paid in NZ. We each got a pair of bespoke shoes. I nearly left mine on the boat today, but all’s well that ends well.

One of the themes of the failed Trump-Kim summit in Da Nang was the idea that North Korea could be just like Vietnam if they’d only embrace a more Western economy. I have no idea how people live in North Korea, but in the heavily touristy parts of Vietnam I’ve seen I can say that people are highly motivated by money and work really hard to get more of it.

It’s not always pleasant. Are their lives better? Are their leaders better off?

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Old Town Hoi An Sites

We bought the combo ticket good for up to five of the old town attractions, and we managed to find four to go in.

1. Phuc Kien Assembly Hall

One of several 19th century Chinese assembly halls. Shrines, sculpture, carvings, bonsai, etc. Very pretty but also easy to overdose. The spiral things hanging from the ceiling are long incense sticks that must burn for weeks or months.

2. The folkloric music performance

This was the most ham-fisted production I can ever remember seeing. Traditional instruments and seemingly well-trained musicians and singers and dancers, but all stuck behind a bunch of bad artistic choices. Flashing lights, sappy choreography, and then this:

3. The old merchant house

This was the neatest of the attractions we saw. A 300 year old house, supposedly in the current family’s hands for six generations.

The light in those pictures make them look painted.

One of the previous generations.

4. I can’t even remember

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Footpath? Sidewalk? Parking lot!

I guess it’s a sign of national progress that many people in Vietnam can afford scooters. But the national infrastructure hasn’t caught up, and so there’s approximately no parking lots. Luckily, there are sidewalks.

Pedestrians have to go between, through, and around, frequently stepping into the street. Where they are tooted at by more scooters.

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Good Morning Hoi An

After our unexpected night in Bangkok we made it to Da Nang uneventfully, were picked up at the airport as planned and got to the villa without any problems.

Sherry and Prov were already there, of course, and it was great to see them. We began our visit with a long wine-soaked lunch to catch up on all the news.

We spent most of the next few days in and around Hoi An proper. Pictures to follow in a bunch of upcoming posts.

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