Once upon a morning bleary, this enigmatic raven-colored tailgate appeared in the bank parking lot down the street. Hmmm, I wonder what that might mean? At first I thought “Tis some hipster, nothing more.”

One Google search and two websites later, I have a Tolkien-rune transliterator, and a minute later, an answer. One more site, and I can put that answer into literary context, and a few taps let me share the entire story, while keeping the riddle for you to solve, so it can join the canon of quaint, curious, and forgotten lore.

I fucking love the Internet.